Future Fluid

There are no guarantees in life.
This is the topic I would like to cover today. From past experience and present situations, I have come up with this conclusion, as many other have.
Life will always throw us curve balls. Most of us don't like it, because it changes the path we are on, and we have to make difficult decisions. We also then have to accept that we are not really in control of our destiny, and as humans, we rebel against that.
We always plan these perfect futures. You decide to immigrate, and your whole world revolves around that decision. You decide to go for a new job, a new house, a better car... All the decision you make are based on the goal you have in mind. And then life hits you with that good 'ole curve ball.
So, what do you do?
I know what I tend to do most often then not... I run and hide.
Like a little girl that is scared of the dark. And that is normal. We all fear change to some extent.
But you know what? Plans change daily for everyone. Imagine it didn't though. That would make for a very boring world and life.
So, lets change (again, something we don't like) the way we think. Take a risk on a new path.
And here is where I get to my point. For anyone out there in a new relationship, this might be good advice I learnt.
Neither person can guarantee that they wont hurt the other person. Again, we don't know what the future holds. Neither can guarantee a specific future. If one person was planning to move to another city, and love hits them full in the face, they might change their mind. I know I would. I would reconsider my entire future I had mapped out for a chance at love. Why isn't that future still a possibility to some extent? Maybe it includes the new person in your life, and maybe the plan you had will be so much better for it.
Neither person can guarantee that the new relationship will last forever. We all know the divorce rate statistics nowadays. I have an opinion about that too, but that will have to be an entire blog on its own.
But one thing that can be promised, is the fact that both can try to be the best that they are. Not the best for the other person, as that would change them and invariably destroy the relationship. But just be themselves to the best of their abilities.
Be an awesome partner in crime. Someone who will be your rock, so that you can be the ground beneath. Both taking on responsibilities and sharing everything.
Both can be honest at all times.

Both can believe that trying is better than giving up on a possible, yet frightening new future. Not the future you had planned, but the future that will possibly enhance your life.

With this insight, we usually also find our self doubt. The little voice that says "I am not good enough, I am not pretty enough. What happens if I get hurt again?"
If you are one of these people, and I assume there are a lot out t here, then know the following:
You have been hurt before, and you survived. your track record for surviving is 100%. Also know that the other person is also taking the same risks, and most probably has the same fears.
As far as looks and intellect goes, that is simple to answer. The other person has most probably shown interest in some form or another. That should tell you that they like you (maybe even more than like) the way you are. Something in you has already attracted them to you.
And looking at "being good enough"? I have no real insight here, as up until recently I have felt that I could never be good enough for someone else. But Silverjade has helped me understand that by being who you are, truly being you, you will be good enough. By being perfectly you, the term being good enough no longer applies, as you are good enough on your own, and for yourself.

In the end, these are in my humble opinion, still just elements in our fear of the unknown and of the change. The change where we cannot see the ending.

I am still struggling with this fear, and learning to cope with it, and accept the changes I cannot control. And accept the changes that might enhance my life, with the risk of being let down.